This is the driving question those of us raising children try to answer with the choices we make. Studies are discovering that church community provides children and youth more than we ever imagined.
At a recent seminar in London, Dr. David Wolf, PhD, Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Toronto and Chair of the Children’s Mental Health Centre started his presentation with the bad news. 50% of Canadian youth have an axiety disorder, 14.3% have a mood disorder and 4% have bipolar disorder. Suicide is now the 2nd most common reason for death among youth ages 12-19 and suicide rates of youth ages 10-14 have increased by 39% in the last 20 years!
The problem is not with youth behaviours. Reginald Bibby, a Canadian sociologist specializing in youth trends reports that the behaviour of our youth has never been better. Compared to 20 years ago, they are having sex a year and a half later, drinking less, using fewer drugs, and are less likely to be involved in violent crime. So what’s the solution to what is wrong with how our youth are feeling on the inside?
Dr. Wolf then shared the good news. The research is clear that a loving and supportive family is the biggest resource for children and youth. But apart from this, what protects youth the most from developing serious mental health issues is for them to have pro-social opportunities and to be recognized for their contribution in pro-social, cultural communities.
A pro-social opportunity is an opportunity to be engaged with other people toward some end that makes for a positive difference in the world. Involvement in church used to be one of the central pro-social opportunities available to young people. However, the boomer generation has gradually left institutions like the church figuring that it was not all that important. It turns out that it is more important than we realized, not just for our own lives, but for the lives and the well-being of our children and youth.
Church gives children a sense of belonging and identity. They learn how to talk with adults and become conversant with concepts and values. In just the last two months, Trinity has focused on its children and youth programming on courage, the contributions of our ancestors, persistence, happiness, thanksgiving, friendship with pets, and the circle of life. The stories of Jesus sharpen character and empathy. The stories of our ancestors remind us where we have come from, who we are, and whose we are. Their struggles and victories give direction and hope.
Most powerful of all is the community of relationships that church provides. People of all ages get to know our children and are kind to them. Our children see in Trinity a church that respects them enough to take their needs seriously in Sunday worship and workshops. Our children learn that they belong, not because they pay a fee, but because they are loved. Church, like a good family, is forever.
This gives us something to talk to our children about when they ask the question, “Do I have to go to church?” It also gives us something to think about when we decide what the answer to that question will be.
